Bisexual as the day is long.
Old enough to be your parent.
Gender: queer.
She/her.
Blessed bouncing baby bunnies, I got a whoooole bunch of new actual true facts followers in a short amount of time.
Hi, I’m Mary Sue, yes that is my legal name. I am in my 40s, I’m genderqueer, I’m a socialist, I live in PDX ORE, I used to street medic during protests but I do more jail support these days, I have a cat named Posey who is polydactyl, I work a lot at a job that puts me in contact with lawyers and electrical engineers in equal quantities, and I travel extensively.
Currently (April 2023) I am driving a wheelchair full time as I had a sock vs. hardwood floor incident that broke my femur, my tibia, and my fibula. Literally every person who knows me, when they heard this, said something to the effect of “of course you did, you always gotta overachieve”.
I sometimes post actual posts on Tumblr, and sometimes comment on posts, but 99% of the time I am riding the queue queue train. There is a 100% amnesty if you decide you don’t want to follow me any more, at any time. Conversely, I will block with extreme prejudice as I see fit.
LEVERAGE FIC PROMPT: PARKER, ELIOT, AND HARDISON ON A JOB THAT'S ON A CRUISE SHIP. Who gets seasick? Who convinces half the boat they're actually the captain? Who gorges themselves on the buffets I have heard are expansive but not actually very good? Who keeps bringing up that time all those people got trapped on a cruise ship and started flinging their own feces? Who is concealing their secret deep fear of the ocean? THESE ARE THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.
Okay okay okay this is all VERY IMPORTANT YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT
nobody gets seasick, thank god, but it takes approximately 2.4 seconds for Parker to go ABSOLUTELY STIR CRAZY. Cabin fever is real, oh god it’s so real, and god forbid the cruise they’re on is somewhere chilly like Alaska because she is already going to get hella sunburned at some point but getting frostbite/windburn too may also be in the cards if they don’t keep an eye on her.
All Eliot has to do is wear a well-pressed white shirt and pull his hair back and people already start mistaking him for the captain. He can just exude an air of authority when he wants to, and since the con hinges on them taking over control of certain bits of the ships operations, Hardison actually put together a remarkable forgery of the actual cruise line’s officer jackets and Parker steals the actual captain’s hat for him. After that, it’s all smooth sailing. He knows enough about being at sea the talk comes easily to him, and he has tons of natural leadership qualities. He respects everyone who works there. Except the head chef, who has clearly stopped trying. No excuse for that.
SPEAKING OF THE HEAD CHEF this food is totally catering to the american-on-vacation-junk-food diet, and no it is not good but it is sweet and rich. THIS MEANS THAT HARDISON IS SO ON BOARD WITH ALL OF IT. Forget about the meals, you should see the appetizer buffets! If it’s not fried, it has a cream center. Or possibly it is put on tortilla chips. Eliot keeps warning Hardison what not to eat, so he never actually gets sick, but he sure as hell gives it the old college try. He wanders past the buffets all the time, with his pockets lined in tin foil so he can fill them with appetizers and deserts. Also: Parker discovers the bar on the pool deck will make her a really yummy virgin mudslide and she manages to down six of them one day and then not sleep for almost 24 hours. She is no longer allowed on the pool deck without supervision.
Hardison definitely brings up the poo-flinging, especially after they deliberately stall the engines and get everyone stuck out there for almost two days so they can complete the heist. Hardison is a delicate creature who has to practically be hauled bodily out of the cabin they’ve taken over by Eliot after they’ve been stalled for a day. Mmm mmm, nuh uh, he knows people are about to go crazy and he is not gonna get caught up in any kind of poo flinging nonsense. Hell no.
Eliot’s not afraid of the ocean, exactly. He can swim, he can dive, he loves to fish, even deep sea fishing. He will not be going down in a submarine, though. He trusts the engineers that built the submarines. He trusts the pilots and the sailors he’d be down there with. But he has been down deep. Way down. He has seen what is down there. This is not some irrational fear of the unknown. This is a completely rational fear of the known.
OTHER IMPORTANT THOUGHTS:
Parker is excited by the promise of a ‘climbing wall’ until she realizes it is two stories tall at its height. And it’s covered in things that anyone can grab onto. At regular intervals. At least she can rappel down the sides of the boat when she gets itchy and nosily peek into everyone’s cabin. (Parker no, don’t go down the… damn it.)
Most of the crew knows what the Captain looks like. They also know he’s a smug sonuvabitch who they do not like and cuts corners constantly. Consequently while they do not rat Eliot out and actually start calling him ‘other Captain’, eventually he becomes ‘good Captain’ to the ‘evil Captain’. Hardison is delighted to discover ‘evil Captain’ has a goatee.
Hardison gets so irritated by the lack of decent data signal he retasks a satellite. When a couple of bored kids notice him streaming the latest season of Orphan Black in HD they wheedle him into opening up a second network for them (not his network, he’s not an idiot, but he’s got the equipment on him for an entirely different network) and eventually the cabin also becomes a one-stop shop for quasi-legal music-and-media.
The (surprisingly decent) illusionist doing the show in the nightclub makes Parker nostalgic and she sends Sophie and Nate an honest to god hand-written postcard and an incredibly tacky snow globe, which gets a place of honor in Nate’s home office, over his objections.
Sometimes you forget you wrote a thing and it makes you smile.
tfw someone says that Sunnydale Cordelia was nothing but ‘shallow and selfish’ and ‘not a good character until Angel The Series’
Cordelia had one of the (if not THE) best character developments across both shows and Joss did her (and Charisma) so INCREDIBLY dirty… I know I only just finished watching both series like this past year but I feel like I have 20 years of anger for all of you that watched that air in real time
If y’all can’t boycott Starbucks and McDonald’s what use are you really? Because these aren’t places that you NEED (do not bean soup this post I’m so serious) what do you have that’s a NEED from Starbucks?? Exactly.
this is not strictly relevant but a friendly reminder that WHILE starbucks and McD have materially supported israel, BDS has not asked for their boycott (tho you are free to do so, and i am, and probably boycott Disney as well who has given 2mil USD to israel) as these companies are not really instrumental in the occupation of palestine. they HAVE asked for the boycott of:
- HP (hewlett packard)
- Siemens
- AXA
- PUMA
- Israeli produce
- Sabra Hummus (jointly owned by PepsiCo and Strauss group)
- Ahava cosmetics
these companies and products either provide critical infrastructure for the occupation of palestine and/or use occupied land resources in their supply chains and/or are affiliated w the Israeli state and the profits go into Israeli taxes. financially hurting these organisations is more important than attacking McDonald’s for providing free burgers!
Look y'all, this reveal means so much to me. So many times in movies these days there are big reveals for the audience’s benefit that mean absolutely nothing in the context of the story or to the characters in it. I’m talking the Thanos cameo in the Avengers’ stinger, I’m talking Benedict CumberKhan in Star Trek, I’m talking about every hackneyed “This character is actually this other character” when in universe nobody knows nor cares about their true identity.
But here? This reveal? This is a Big Reveal for us, Peter B Parker, and Miles, all on different levels. We and Peter both know Doc Ock is a portly dude, not a woman. We know the name Octavius… Otto Octavius. But when she says her name is Olivia Octavius we’re clued in to the fact that Doctor Octopus is a woman in this universe. And she has Peter captive.
Miles, if he was paying attention in science class earlier in the movie, would have known her name was Olivia Octavius, but that doesn’t mean anything to him, why would it? Liv has apparently been very good about keeping her supervillainy a secret. She’s in educational videos shown in high-schools. So to Miles, the reveal here is this scientist lady, who he knew enough about to know was the head scientist at Alchemax, is a supervillain. He gets the reveal a second or two after Peter.
And the movie? It was dropping hints the entire time, confident in our expectations blinding is to the truth. Olivia’s name was partially visible when Miles got to science class. Her glasses are octagonal. The lights in her lab are octagonal. We know she’s working with the Kingpin. Why wouldn’t she be a supervillain? Because she’s hot? Hell, Peter even says he needs to reexamine his internal biases. Maybe he was telling us that we should too.
It’s a reveal for us, and for our heroes. It means something, both in-universe and out. And that makes it infinitely better than other similar reveals.
Imagine you’re heading into a lab belonging to world famous children’s educator slash scientist Bill Nye’s place of work to help your midle-aged interdimensional dumb uncle-figure back to his own dimension only to lose track of him and find out that in His universe there’s a wanted criminal slash domestic terrorist named Beatrice Elizabeth Nye who tried to bone his aunt, and also Bill Nye is their cosmic parallel who is also, surprise! Secretly evil and has probably already boned his aunt
gyzym Asks:
realmarysue Said:
